For a few years now, I have struggled with my self-worth and image especially in light of the social media era. I have always been worried about how people perceived me, how I looked in front of them and what they thought of me - this caused major anxiety in my life and in turn, made me question my value in this world.
One of my biggest problems is I compare my life against my peers and even my own boyfriend (none of which is their fault) Most of them went from high school to university to full time jobs, they are being promoted into managerial roles and/or getting married and moving in with their significant others. This is where I thought I would be at the current age of 27. However, I am none of those and because of the fact I feel that, I am not like the “norm” and I’ve created this unhappy environment around me and convinced myself that I am a failure due to the slow progression in my life. Any good qualities I possess are overshadowed by my feeling that I am not where I “thought” I wanted to be or was supposed to be. As a result, I was questioning whether I was clinically depressed and heavily considered seeking help from a therapist.
Before making the commitment to sessions with a therapist to cope with this potential illness, I decided to try and change my lifestyle and habits with a life coach. Whether it be a therapist or a life coach allowing myself to be vulnerable around another person and admitting things I’ve only admitted in my head is one of the hardest things to do - Terry created such an open, trusting and safe space that all those worries/insecurities blew out the window. He became an older brother to me; protective but blunt. He tells it like it is – for example, if you are stubborn and opinionated he will tell you that you are stubborn and opinionated. He doesn't say it to make you feel bad about yourself, he does it to allow yourself to realize what and who you are and how you are able to use those qualities to your advantage.
Prior to my session with Terry, I sought help through other friends and I read different self-help books and the common statement I was told was "stop giving a sh*t about what other people think of you" and as a result you will diminish the worry and anxiety. However, it is easier said than done and I never accomplished that challenge. With Terry though, he changed the perspective of the saying and transformed it into "start giving a sh*t about yourself!"
He made me realize it is time to start caring about me and worrying about what I am doing in life. He reminded me: “As humans we only have only one life to live, do what we can now while we are able to do so.” At the very end of our session, the most important thing he told me to do before ANYTHING else, was to congratulate myself because the hardest thing to do is the first step, seeking for help after recognizing the situation at hand.
Terry is the definition of first step, he makes you feel empowered, confident and the second you walk through his doors you become family. My progression to a better life will not happen overnight and it will take some time to break out of my old and bad habits, but I am thankful for the kindness and guidance Terry was able to provide for me – I am confident that I will break out of this “funk” and hone in on my true potential and worth. I truly appreciate his work and efforts.
CHARLOTTE W., 27, CAFE MANAGER, VANCOUVER B.C.
(60-MIN. COACHING SESSION)